5 Quick Guest List Tips from a Calligrapher

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Not many people are addressing envelopes these days let alone hand-addressing them. That is… until you are sending out the most important piece of mail in your entire life. No pressure though!

As a calligrapher and etiquette junkie, I know well beyond what is normal or natural about this topic so I wanted to share my best tips for every engaged couple putting together the dreaded guest address list. If you’re handing this off to your calligrapher or DIY-ing the job, here’s some tips to make it all a little less painful.

1. — The Program

Where and in what program you create your guest address list is pretty important. For most people, Excel/Numbers is the default choice. While those two are great (and still recommended), calligraphers will often appreciate or require a Word-style doc where your guests’ name and address are listed just like they are on an envelope. I swear this isn’t to be a pain and add more to your to-do list… it’s to prevent mistakes! If you are addressing your own invitations, I very highly suggest taking the time to type them this way:

Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Hawk
2810 Gadzooks Avenue
Apartment P2
New York, New York 10012

2. — Make It Fancy

Subtle cues of formality should remain consistent throughout your entire wedding, envelopes included. Formal titles are almost always included (“Mr./Mrs/Ms./Mx.”) but if you’re having a backyard elopement, nixing these titles isn’t out of the question. The most important thing is to make sure the level of formality is the same from your invitations, place cards, dress code, and envelopes.

Another way to denote formality is spelling things out. Modern brides often “break” many of these rules (which I rather love). The most formal of envelopes will always spell out everything from “Apartment,” to “Pennsylvania” instead of “PA.”

3. — Unexpected Guests

This is always touchy subject when deciding on who to invite. Whether you are trying to avoid children showing up or plus-ones that you’ve never met, how do you get your wishes across without appearing rude? There’s a few ways to do this eloquently.

One, you can specifically not include “and Guest” onto your single family members or friends’ envelope. Formally speaking, the envelope(s) will always directly say who is invited (and by omission, who is not). This may still not sink in for some so I have another suggestion.

On the RSVP, adding the text “We have reserved one seat for you” below their name and food choice is certain to be seen. That way, there is no mistake on how many people you expect to show up.

Lastly, if you’ll be having an adults-only celebration, you can include “Adults Only” (or some creative variation of that wording). I never recommend having this on the actual invitation and recommend you reserve this for the details or accommodations card. While using one (or all!) of these methods aren’t fail-safe, subtle clues are our best way to try and ensure you have the wedding experience you’ve been imagining.

4. — The Big List: My Pain-Free Method

Let’s compile that big list! You likely have not only the people you and your partner want to invite but also entire guest lists from each of your parents. That’s a lot to manage, never mind the other wedding tasks at hand. My suggestion is to create a brand new Google Spreadsheet and designate access to one member per group (you two, plus one from each of your families). This takes the pressure off the couple to play secretary and everyone can make sure there’s no duplicates easily by referencing the whole list quickly. Finally, set an official list “due date” and stick to it. Once the deadline has arrived, remove everyone’s access (if you want) and spend a little time checking over the list. Then set it up for your calligrapher or stationer, if needed. Check and check.

5(ish). — It’s All Worth It

Finally… it’s not a tip but a bit of motivation. All this work is not just for one single event. Your guest address list will be extremely useful for SO MANY YEARS TO COME.

For example, we were married five years ago and I look at our guest address list at least four or more times a year. During the planning process, I added a column next to the names to note gifts and check off thank yous I had sent. So whether to grab someone’s address or to make sure we are gifting in return appropriately (i.e., if we are attending their wedding), your guest list will be way more valuable than I honestly ever thought.

PS. Mine is in Google Spreadsheets so I never lose it! Grab this template with sorting features below. To edit, choose File > Make a Copy and you’ll have your own to use: Sheets Guest List Template

Need more help on copying? Check here: Google Copy Sheet Help

So! Is your guest list big or small? Are you planning on hiring a calligrapher or are you the DIY-type? Are any of these tips helpful? Let me know if you have any questions I didn’t cover below in the comments!